Take a minute to consider the lighting and angle of your photo. Don’t just snap a straight on, florescent-lit, close-up of your butthole (I mean, you can if you want – to each their own). Try softer, more sensual lighting, like salt lamps. Play with silhouettes, side angles and other indirect techniques. Sometimes alluding to something sexual (ex. a shot of your hand down your pants, or pulling down your shirt close to the nipple) is way hotter than just straight up showing off the goods. But there’s also a time and place for everything.

There’s no hard and fast rule on how long you have to wait before sending one (if you choose to send one at all), but I promise you it’s not before you’ve had sex a few times. Before then, it won’t have the desired effect. Still, there’s so much opportunity for arousing her with words that you don’t need to consider it as an option. Save it for when you want to shake things, or arouse your partner from abroad. The opportunity will naturally present itself. Ex. You mention you’re getting turned on, or touching yourself thinking about them, and they’ll ask to see. Done without consent, or too soon, and it usually comes across as jarring and inappropriate.

5. Message them at the wrong time.

Be sensitive to what’s happening in their day or week. When we’re stressed out, dealing with heavy issues, or supporting others who are, receiving sexy texts can feel really weird and out of place. You can’t always know, but be mindful of their experience and setting as much as possible. Don’t insensitively fire off updates of when you’ve masturbated while they’re supporting a friend through a breakup, or visiting grandpa in the hospital. Before starting up a sexting slew between you and your lover, you should either know what they’re doing in that moment, or check in and ask them what they’re doing (to be certain). Continue lendo →